Today is a sad day for Anne. In fact, this is a sad week:
Yesterday, her mother’s Forever Friend, Helen Elliott, died.
Six years ago, today, Anne’s niece Heather died.
Eleven years ago, tomorrow, Anne’s mother died. And,
Sixteen years ago, on Sunday, her father died.
When I asked Anne how she navigates this difficult week each year, tears welled up as she told me that she imagines her parents, her niece, and their close friends are all together in their next adventure.
Anne is sure that her mother and Helen will be organizing bridge today (as Thursday is Bridge Day), setting up the card table and finishing each other’s sentences.
By now, Anne's mother may have persuaded her granddaughter, Heather, to learn to play Bridge too. And, no one will care who wins!
Anne's dad will welcome Helen with a warm hug as they too were great friends. Of course, Helen’s husband John will be overjoyed to see her again after many years apart.
Anne imagines these friends will be together, celebrating, reminiscing, and sharing the love of friendship today and every day. Together they raised children and enjoyed grandchildren; they laughed, and they cried as they shared in life’s ups and downs. They have a never-ending supply of stories to tell.
That’s how Anne gets through this difficult week and other times when loved ones departed. She remembers the best of times together. She focuses on the happy memories and the special moments they shared. Of course, she misses them and often sheds more than a few tears of sadness – sadness for herself and for others who were left behind.
Anne thinks of Bridge as more than a card game. For her, it symbolizes the bridge between here and there. She believes there is a special October bridge, and that she will cross it herself one day - but not today - and not any time soon.
Today is Thursday – Bridge Day – a day to gather, to reminisce, and to celebrate Thursday, people!
Reading this post reminds me of how sometimes you dont properly grieve a loved one and dont have those settled feelings as the years go by; when you dont allow yourself the space and time to grieve your feelings toward that loss are left in a kind of limbo and always feel somewhat unresolved or unsettled. When someone dear to you passes it really is a 'reworking' of that relationship as you feel the presence of your loved one daily. This brought to light a big hurdle for me......thank you Anne, beautiful and purposeful words as always....
I love this idea of our loved ones gathering over a card table and reuniting. I also love that you recognize our need to find meaning in this way while making space for our grief. Afterall, grief is the process of reworking our relationships with our loved ones once the pass. They never really leave us. Sending my love your way Anne... and to all who grieve.